Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Wives and Husbands




Message



 


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face=Verdana>      style="FONT-SIZE: 8.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">WIFE VS.
HUSBAND
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color=blue size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">A couple drove down
a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
color=black size=2>style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
color=blue size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">An earlier
discussion had led to an argument and
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color=blue size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">neither of them
wanted to concede their position.
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
color=blue size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">As they passed a
barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
color=blue size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">the husband asked
sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
size=2>style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
color=blue size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">"Yep," the wife
replied, "in-laws."
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face="Trebuchet MS" color=blue size=5>style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">WORDSface=Verdana color=black size=2>style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">

face="Trebuchet MS" color=red size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">A husband
read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
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face="Trebuchet MS" color=red size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">30,000 to a
man's 15,000.
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=red size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">The wife
replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men..
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face="Trebuchet MS" color=red size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">The husband
then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
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style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"
align=center>style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=fuchsia size=5>style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">CREATIONface="Trebuchet MS" color=red size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">
face=Verdana color=black size=2>style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=fuchsia size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">A man
said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
face=Verdana color=black size=2>style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=fuchsia size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">so stupid
and so beautiful all at the same time.
color=black size=2>style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=fuchsia size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">"The wife
responded, "Allow me to explain.
size=2>style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=fuchsia size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">God made
me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
color=black size=2>style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=fuchsia size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">God made
me stupid so I would be attracted to you
color=fuchsia size=2>style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">!color=black>



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face="Trebuchet MS" color=red size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">WHO DOES WHAT
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=red size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">A man and his
wife were having an argument about who
color=black size=2>style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=red size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">should brew
the coffee each morning.
size=2>style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=red size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">The wife
said, "You should do it because you get up first,
face=Verdana color=black size=2>style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=red size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">and then we
don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
color=black size=2>style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=red size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">The husband
said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and
face=Verdana color=black size=2>style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=red size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">you should do
it! , because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=red size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">Wife replies,
"No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do
the coffee."
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=red size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">Husband
replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
color=black size=2>style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=red size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">So she
fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of
several pages, that it indeed says .......... "HEBREWS"
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face="Trebuchet MS" color=blue size=5>style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">The Silent
Treatment
style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=blue size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">A man and
his wife were having some problems at home
color=black size=2>style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=blue size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">and were
giving each other the silent treatment.
color=black size=2>style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=blue size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">Suddenly,
the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=blue size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">at 5:00 AM
for an early morning business flight.
size=4>
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face=Verdana color=blue size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">Not wanting to be
the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face=Verdana color=blue size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">"Please wake me at
5:00 AM."
style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">
style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">He left it
where he knew she would find it.
size=2>style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=blue size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">The next
morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
face="Trebuchet MS" color=red size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">
style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">and he had
missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
face="Trebuchet MS" color=red size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">
style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">see why his
wife hadn't wakened him,
size=2>style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=blue size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">when he
noticed a piece of paper by
size=4>
style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">the bed.
style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=blue size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">The paper
said, "It is 5:0 0 AM. Wake up."
size=2>style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">
face="Trebuchet MS" color=blue size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">Men are not
equipped for these kinds of contests.
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face="Trebuchet MS" color=red size=5>style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">God may have
created man before woman, but there is always a
face="Trebuchet MS" color=red size=4>style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">
style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'">rough draft
before the masterpiece
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